lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
