JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
