the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
