yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
