My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
