You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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