even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
