Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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