I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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