Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
