Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
