HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
