Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is the high leading the old right now
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
