We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
