If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
