Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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