They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
