i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
