The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
