oh god the rape fog is back!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
