Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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