"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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