The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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