you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
