So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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