No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
