My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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