Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Damn victory sex feels great
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
