Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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