Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
