Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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