I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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