i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
