you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
