Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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