i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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