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I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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