That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
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