i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
