i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
this hospital has no fireball
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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