I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
