so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
