are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
from now on my penis is your penis
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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