I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
