how can u be prego again
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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