Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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