my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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