Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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