i think my tv is drunk
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
