He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
