You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
