her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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