Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
