Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
