Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
