in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
