I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
